I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i now understand why vodka
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
