I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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