Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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