You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
