It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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