Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
