I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
