im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
