Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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