It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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