checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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