This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
