$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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