bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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