Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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