Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
