Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize