I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize