Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
