i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You need Xanax blowdarts
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
