the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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