dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
should my penis look like a turkey
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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