Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
