She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
In America we eat man semen.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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