id be glad to
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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