I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
only you would photoshop your dick
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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