It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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