dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize