I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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