Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
