i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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