dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
