you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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