What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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