How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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