belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
