I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize