Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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