Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
