mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
