As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
