; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
