She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
