she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
