I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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