I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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