I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
