if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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