who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
