no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize