Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
