You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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