Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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