Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
