You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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