that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
