Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
