I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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