His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
