omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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