Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
