his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize