You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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