I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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