I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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