Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
