The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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